Or, alternative title: My Fictional Character Shit List.
These are the characters I can't fucking stand. These are the characters that, no matter how you slice it, I simply DO NOT LIKE.
When it comes fictional media, very rarely you will find me in the hatedom. I rarely rant and rave and I am very *deep breath* tolerant
of a lot of bullshit.
However, even I have standards however strange they might be. I have characters from all sorts of fictional media that there is simply NOTHING to like. I HATE these
characters with a BURNING PASSION! These are the top 12 characters that, in my eyes, I will hate for all eternity even if they brought someone back from the dead
because everything else about them just oozes reasons for me to hate them.
And, as much as I would love to vent my anger a lot, I still have to maintain my 1 per franchise rule. So.........here we go.
Oh and please note that for villains I have to really DESPISE them rather than Loving to hate them. There is a clear difference. So, no, Sosuke Aizen will not be on this list
Also, I haven't read Naruto yet so Sasuke Uchiha is exempt from this list...FOR NOW.
Lux from League of Legends
is going to kill
Egads, this is a petty one. Of all the champions in League of Legends, even when I consider how big of a douchebag Warwick is and how deliciously EVIL Swain is, there is one thing that keeps reminding me the BANE of my existence when it comes to playing league of legends
You have been slain.
BULLSHIT! THERE WAS AT LEAST A FULL CENTIMETER OF HIT DETECTION AWAY FROM ME! FUCK YOU I HAD MORE THAN HALF MY FUCKING HEALTH LEFT!
Oh, but of course I'm not done.
Lux is just.........lux is just an awful character, champion and a Mary Sue.
The character is useful in ANY lane.
Her "light bind" has all the power of Morganna's except it's faster and traps TWO people.
Her goddamn barrier needs to be nerfed
AND I'M TIRED OF DYING TO THAT FUCKING ULT!
But, enough about gameplay.
Lux has probably one of the most awful backstories (and by that I mean heartrending) in League of Legends history that, if you're an FEA fan, basically she and Libra would have a lot in common let me just say that.
And yet despite this, Lux (who is only a teenager mind you) has absolutely no angst about it and she is latched onto (shipping wise) the character that a good chunk of fans label as a Mary Sue: Ezreal.
Maybe Mary Sue by association with Lux, but I've been known to like Mary Sue's before (*cough*Kirito*cough*) so that's not the issue here.
The issue here is that Lux is a completely unrelatable, unrealistic, OVERPOWERED character and I can't fucking stand her existence. Burn in hell you miserable bitch!
Griffith from Berserk
Griffith is perfectly deserving of the titles "douchebag" "traitor" and "backstabbing asshole".
#Raped Caska, Guts' love interest (and probably the most badass black woman in all of anime history)
#After having a Saving Private Ryan pulled FOR
him, Griffith sells everyone's souls to the devils of the world just so that he can become a god
#Has assembled an army of demons, liberated a nation and is slowly deceiving the entire world into thinking he's god just so he can execute whatever horrible plan that twisted little mind of his is thinking up of next because quite frankly we have no idea what this twisted son of a bitch is up to right now thanks a lot Miura.
Berserk's graphic imagery makes things hard enough to deal with on its own. But Griffith is SUCH a selfish asshole that you know all of what he's doing is just so he can sell everyone's testicles and ovaries out from underneath them when he damn well pleases. This man is setting up the dominoes and I'm really dreading watching them fall.
The reason Griffith is so far down on this list is well, the factor of the unknown.
What if Griffith is just a Well-Intentioned Extremist. What if he has some master plan that's supposed to make him a good guy and just made a really dumb decision?
We don't know and if he IS just being a sociopathic well-intentioned extremist then he'll drop off my hatedom list and into "villains I love to hate" list.
Not because I've forgiven him, but because he'd be an interesting villain rather than the unlikable prick right in front of my eyes.
Wendy Oldbag from Ace Attorney
You know how some old folks just won't shut up? You know how some old folks are incredibly rude to pretty much everyone? Wendy Oldbag is both. I shouldn't have to say more, so I'll just say that she adds to being an unlikable senior citizen by having a strange crush on Edgeworth. .......yeah. Maybe
if she looked like April May (Game 1 case 2), but no. Not happening. NEXT!
Hercule/Mr. Satan from Dragon Ball Z
It's one thing to take credit for the work others have done. It's QUITE another to flat out LIE to other people about your capabilities to the point where our heroes have to WILLINGLY let you take the spotlight so that it's off your back. I mean just WHAT THE FUCK? If you're going to let ANYONE, fucking ANYONE take the credit for beating Cell, why this guy? Furthermore, where did he come from? How did he get recognition? Did no one in the DBZ universe remember that ki attacks were used in previous martial arts tournaments (Jackie Chun Vs Son Goku, Goku's first ever tournament). How about Goku Vs Tien or Goku Vs Piccolo. How DARE this pompous afro wearing ASSHOLE just say "It's all hocus pocus special effects. I am the fucking man" FUCK YOU VERY MUCH HERCULE! You are nothing! you are a FLEA! Chichi could wipe the floor with you! KID Trunks knocked you out of the arena.
It's so god damn INFURIATING!
And why does NO ONE do anything about it? They were all prominent names during the time of King Piccolo especially Tien, Yamcha and Krillin.
F**K this guy
F**K this guy
F**K this guy
Estellise Sidos Heurassein from Tales of Vesperia
Yet another character, much like Lux, that is more infuriating than she is hateable. At first glance, Estelle is an adorable, pink haired, innocent girl. Then you remember that she is a book smart ditz (seriously how the fuck does that work?) and despite being the designated party healer the AI constantly has her run up into close quarter combat like a fucking idiot. She's also 18. Like.......I don't care HOW sheltered you are an 18-year-old would have a lot more mature than Estelle. Euphemia li Britannia
is more mature than Estelle and that's saying A LOT.
Furthermore, Estelle is probably the WORST Tales of heroine in the entire FRANCHISE (that I've played).
Colette isn't booksmart and considerably more adorable and clutzy (and Lloyd's just as much a dumbass and warm hearted so the dynamic between the two of them works)
Marta has a backbone and largely much more in her life going on
Luke is also a sheltered noble (though he's the hero, but has more in common with Estelle) and even his disknowledge about the world outside shows him as an ignorant jackass rather than trying to play it off as being adorable.
Everything about Estelle's character is just WRONG
And it doesn't help that she's in Project X Zone in place of Judith who's all the more likable and not the least bit infuriating.
Judith should've been in Project X Zone
(Oh gods I'm starting to get angry already and we're only on #8)
Diamond Tiara from My Little Pony Friendship is Magic
*resists the urge to pound fist onto keyboard*
I hate this filly, though that should be obvious considering this list.
I hate her
I hate her
I hate her!
Diamond Tiara is the epiphany of childhood bullies that harassed me in elementary school. She is the meanest, nastiest, most insincere little shit that needs to be boiled down to be used for poster glue! YEAH I WENT THERE!
If you're not a brony you won't understand why I hate her and I think I summed up perfectly by saying she's a "schoolyard bully" but if you need more elaboration, picture Angelica Pickles from Rugrats if she NEVER in not a SINGLE EPISODE got karmic backlash.
FUCK THIS PONY!
Harime Nui from Kill la Kill(Spoiler alert for those who haven't seen the show)
I know a lot of people would sooner pick Ragyou because she's the ultimate big bad, but let's not forget that Nui is no patron saint either. While I should put Ragyou on this list as a tie with Nui for molesting Satsuki not once, but TWICE and ultimately trying to bring about the end of the world, Nui was more of a personal nuisance and the one that Satsuki and Ryuko both hated even more than Ragyou.
Also, Ragyou wasn't half as INFURIATING as Nui's little "NO U Clone" schtick bullshit.
Oh and let's not forget that it's Nui who caused Ryuko to go on a blood boiled rampage and came much closer as The Dragon in being an actual threat than Ragyou ever was. I mean, sure Ragyou became near invincible by the end, but think about all the times Ragyou was actually being fought by our heroes. I count two or three times max. I think Nui was around for a grand total of 5 or 6 and each time was no less infuriating. I mean in case you forgot, her introduction was practically a big "fuck you" to the viewer's expectations since Ryuko was nearing having her rematch with Satsuki.
Oh and it doesn't help that Nui's voice is like nails on a chalkboard. It's not bad acting, it perfectly fits the character, but it makes Nui TWICE as annoying.
What's worse is that I actually like the voicework her seiyuu did for Mii Koryuji in Project X Zone. here's wondering who they're going to get to play Nui in dub and what she sounds like.
Rolo from Code Geass
*resists urge to punch the screen*
I wish I could reach through the computer and choke this little faggot. I wish I could find the guy who wrote Rolo's death scene and whack him over the head with Linkara's clue stick.
wrote that VV is responsible for everything in Code Geass that happened that was bad. I say, bollocks. VV certainly set things in motion, but ultimately everyone is responsible for their own actions and to pin the blame on the man behind the curtain isn't how the real world works.
So let's focus on a self-entitled little shit that thinks he's bigger than her really is.
Rolo started off in season 2 as an interesting villain. Lelouch manipulated him into making a Heel Face Turn and Rolo was loyal to Lelouch and helped him get a lot of things done that Lelouch wanted done.
It was nice. I liked it.
And then Rolo started to think more highly of himself than Lelouch was willing to give him credit.
I could go on a huge rant about his murder of Shirley, but I'd like to think of myself as a little more professional than that these days. So instead, I'll just come out and say that while Rolo's murder of Shirley was a big fuck you to the fans, the problem is, now that I think about it, perfectly in character for Rolo given the information at his disposal. We knew Shirley meant no harm. He did not.
It still does not justify that Shirley couldn't harm a fly and Rolo got fucking paranoid as all shit and could've just disarmed Shirley and brought her to Lelouch if, you know, HE REALLY WANTED TO HELP! But no, he became a self-righteous little shit-head and murdered her in cold blood. Fan fucking tastic Rolo
But, of course, my hatred for Rolo doesn't stop there. The second insult is when Rolo decides he's going to murder NUNNALLY!
Lelouch instruced him with the task of rescuing her and he takes this as an opportunity to off her. YOU FUCKING SHIT FOR BALLS LITTLE ASSHOLE! I WILL CROSS DIMENSIONS AND STAB YOU IN THE FOREHEAD FIFTY MILLION TIMES YOUAPOAWERIHGOIUAEHGOPIEHGLSDHBLKADJHBLKSDHFBLSDHBLHGL;
......okay I lost my composure. That was bound to happen eventually.
And what kind of send off does Rolo get?
"Yeah, you're big brother's a liar."
F**k you, Sunrise!
If that was me, I would've punched Rolo in the face and told him "Thanks for saving me when I was resolved to die and for murdering the only woman I loved asshat!" and then pushed him off the cliff.
Mayuri Kurotsuchi from Bleach
Mayuri is and always will be an infuriating, monstrous dick. His laundry list of illegal activity is somehow overlooked for years to the point where he'd fit right at home in Zaun on Runeterra. This is the resume of a man you higher to create Frakenstein's Monster, not to be the leader in charge of research and development. I mean sure if you HAVE NO MORALE CODING FOR BASIC HUMAN ETHICS go right ahead and hire him. People talk about how Mayuri is quirky and weird, I say Mayuri is a mass murdering asshole that needs to be boiled in water and served with a side of tuna fish. He abuses his daughter, he makes people murder their own families and who knows what OTHER atrocities he does when we're not looking. I don't even want to know HOW he reanimated those arrancar. I'm sure the answer is going to disturb me heavily and I just want him to DIE!
Naraku from Inuyasha
I was originally going to go on and on about the huge laundry list of bullshit that Naraku has caused all throughout Inuyasha, but it would take me so long that I'd have to leave for work right after I was finished and I don't have work for another 36 hours. Instead, I'll just say this: If it's not a youkai acting independently, it's probably something to do with Naraku, which is like 90% of the time. Naraku simply exists to make everyone's lives miserable. To quote my good friend
: When a character is so overly evil that him kicking baby seals for sport or eating baby barbecue couldn't be considered a great exaggeration, it's kind of hard to take him seriously
I agree with this assessment aside from the "taking him seriously" part. Naraku was, by and large, threatening. I felt his presence every step of the way. However, rather than not taking him seriously, I, instead, found myself unable to like to hate him. Much unlike Yuuki Terumi (one of my favorite villains ever), Naraku is just an unlikable asshole because 'waaah, waah, I want this girl, waaah, waah'. Dude, there are villains out there with REAL problems! Masturbate like the rest of us.
Doflamingo Donquixote from One Piece
Oh my shit. Where do I begin with this guy? Well, how about the fact that he's related to those god awful Tenryubito. That's enough reason alone for me to hate him. Now I can channel all of my hate for those guys towards one man. But that's not all, he puppeteered a king and made him kill his own subjects, after he had said king ask his subjects for money just so that there was absolutely NO way the king could be looked at as a nice guy anymore. Why? Probably because he had nothing better to do on a Wednesday. He created a drug that turns people into statues. He experimented on children if I recall how the last arc went. (He himself didn't, but the subordinates who orchestrated them answered to him). He has been an insane asshole since the first time we met him, but up until recently he was never this much of a complete wanker. Doflamingo DESERVES the hatred and loathing I am throwing this way and he's on this list because I DON'T WANT TO GIVE IT TO HIM! I want him to die so I can be all "See you later asshole! Next arc!" FUCK you Donquixote! Fuck you very much! And SHAME on you for sharing a name with a fictional character in a musical I love! Shame on you!
No runner's up so it's
Nobuyuki Sugou aka Douchebag McFucknuts from Sword Art Online
It BOTHERS me that I had to look up this asshole's name, let alone get a picture of him. I would like to forget this man ever existed. I call him Douchebag McFucknuts because he doesn't even DESERVE for me to memorize his name. And the name Douchebag McFucknuts is a perfect name to describe him. Unlike Mingo, who deserves every last bit of hatred I throw at him, this guy doesn't even deserve for me to recognize that he exists. But the problem is I CAN'T FORGET WHAT HE DID AND CANNOT FORGIVE WHAT HE HAS DONE!
I have a personal issue with plots that have assholes trying to manipulate a situation so that they can marry the heroine and leave the hero hung out to dry. I especially hate it when there's a time crunch. That is pretty much the opening plot to every Netorare Hentai in existence and the fact that it didn't pan out that way is such a big relief. However, the amount of times we were REMINDED of this guy's obsession and the LENGTHS HE WENT TO to ENSURE his evil plan would take root fucking PISSES ME OFF!
I don't care about Asuna as much as I do Shirley. Hell, Ryuko and Kikyou are higher on my favorite females list than Shirley and Asuna who don't even scrape the top 20. I don't hate this guy for being a complete waste of space and trying to marry a sixteen year old girl while she's in a coma, though that certainly helps.
I hate this asshole because he after the nightmare that was the death game of SAO, he PURPOSELY kept at least 200 of the survivors brains for his OWN PERSONAL USE TO FUCK AROUND WITH so that he could perfect the art of mind control.
A little bit of fridge horror here, imagine his plan worked. Imagine he was INCHES AWAY from rewiring Asuna's brain.
Let's pretend for a moment that Asuna and Kirito are well written characters and characters you give a damn about.
Hell, you know what, let's use a good example.
Imagine if Naraku brainwashed Kikyou into completely forgetting about Inuyasha and we saw every bit of teary eyed struggle she had while he did it and LAUGHED IN HER FACE WHILE RAPING HER!
THAT'S THE KIND OF BULLSHIT I HATE DOUCHEBAG MCFUCKNUTS FOR!
I DON'T HATE THIS ASSHOLE FOR WHAT HE DID!
I HATE HIM FOR WHAT HE COULD HAVE DONE!
WHERE HIS PLANS COULD HAVE GONE!
AND THE ABSOLUTE HATRED AND RAGE HE MADE ME FEEL WHILE I WATCHED EPISODES 15-25!
FUCK YOU DOUCHEBAG MCFUCKNUTS! FUCK YOU VERY MUCH!
I'm not going to say "I wish Kirito had actually killed you" because even I would've thought that would've been a little extreme, so instead I'll just say this:
Don't drop the soap.
To all a good night. I'm going to go watch funny things so I can fall asleep, maybe dream about getting laid with Saya from Namco X Capcom.